So, why is society so obsessed with monogamy that many countries have laws to enforce it? Even though, as we learned above, monogamy has been uncommon throughout history the world over and has only become a modern Western societal norm through sectarian lobbying. It was effective in growing the population to recruit armies (Romans figured that one out) and generate economic benefits for the rulers who chose to enforce it (European kings of the Middle Ages). It is so recent in human history that it is not in any original Buddhist writing or the Bible (aside from Genesis, but that’s also where the first mention of two wives is found). Quite the opposite as the Bible, for example, is very explicit about some of the prominent characters having several wives (700 for Solomon along with another 300 concubines for good measure). Getting followers to adopt monogamy came much later, at about the time when the Christian religion got mixed with the European powers of the time (about the 7th century). Yet, it only became broadly accepted as a social norm in the late 1800s. Before that, even the word monogamy was not commonly found in writing. The words “monogamy” and “monogamous’ started to emerge in books around 1860, peaking in the 1990s, and declining thereafter.
Can we guess what will it be in, say 100 years? We can probably predict what it will be in two generations, say 50 years. Monogamy will not be denounced as a social practice, but will it will most certainly have lost all of its officialdom status, which is already happening now with divorce laws and allowance for same-sex unions. As formal marriages will also become an out of fashion practice remaining only among the most conservative religious communities, monogamy will simply lose the importance of its status and will not even be replaced by polygamy as the very concept of dictating the format of relationships in officialdom will become outdated. Thus, as a formal and official societal norm, monogamy will have lasted less than 200 years, barely a blip in the scale of humanity.
Before wrapping up, let’s address the reason why the term “Ethical non-monogamy” is often used to emphasize that it is not cheating, it is consensual and known to all involved. Ironically, no one says ethical monogamy even though cheating is the most common cause of monogamous relationship failures.